


Vshoom

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [105]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:08:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8775277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: The unfortunate side-effects of... lube. Glow in the dark lube.





	

“It’s fine.”  


“It _looks_ like it’s radioactive.”  


“If it is, the isotope is so trace as to be–”  


“You didn’t _check_  before you applied it to my penis, Kylo?” Hux glares up from his now-dejected (and still slightly green) dick to see his boyfriend looking twitchy.

“…it said it’s safe for use. I wouldn’t just shove anything on you, especially not if I was going to suck it off, or let it shove inside me.”  


“And did you read the material safety sheet?”  


“The… what?”  


“The instructions.”  


“Hux, it’s _lube_. You apply it. And then add more if shit gets dry.”  


Hux is dating an idiot. He really is. It’s a wonder Hux still has his penis attached, and even more of a wonder that Kylo has _his_. “You didn’t even patch test for allergies, did you?”

“…you weren’t asking for that last night.”  


“I was - you had me - that’s not the point!” Hux points to his crotch. “This is the point. My dick.”  


“Yes, it is a point.”  


“Stop that. My dick is _green_. That is _not a normal colour for Human dicks to be_.”  


“It is for a Rodian.”  


“I am not a Rodian, Kylo.”  


“Does it itch?”  


Hux thinks for a moment. “No.”

“Then it should be fine. See a medic if you need to. Otherwise…”   


Hux sighs. And then goes into the other room to dress himself. He pulls clothing around his body, and… “KYLO.”

When he gets into the lounge room, Kylo’s run off. Leaving Hux with an eerie pants glow that isn’t a warm and fuzzy, loving feeling. He’s literally radiating through the fabric of his uniform like he’s shoved a freaking datapad down there. And there’s _no way_ he can conceal that. _No way_. How is he supposed to do his duties like this?

Just because Kylo wanted to do it with the lights off. And with Hux making _vshoom_ lightsaber noises when he moved his dick around.

Kylo is not getting laid tonight, Hux decides. He’ll turn out all the lights and tell him the Dark Side is too strong for him to handle. 


End file.
